di-as-po-ra  (noun)  “the movement, migration, or scattering of people away from an established or ancestral homeland”

in the course of the last week two more of my dearest friends moved far away. now three of my closest girlfriends live out of easy reach. all week i struggled to figure out why i felt so out of sorts. there were (are) a couple of reasons, but this scattering of friends is a huge part of it. calling it a diaspora is a bit dramatic perhaps, but i think the feeling of being scattered and rootless, disconnected and distant, rings true to the word. i feel a bit unmoored by their being so far away even though we haven’t all been together since college. (and calling college our homeland seems a mite absurd; and even when i did live nearby to some of them in the past year, i did not see them as much as i should have.) i have decided to own the feeling.

so this week i have felt less than content. i took myself out to coffee cottage and read my book. i have been working a lot and feeling pretty dissatisfied with working. i have not had a real meal in a few days because of a wacky schedule, and i have been putting off packing even though we get the keys to our new place on thursday. i have been reading my books and listening to a lot of bon iver, which always helps. and i have been making plans for our new house with my dear friend and soon-to-be roommate, and that make me feel a little better about things. wearing sweaters and drinking black tea with cream (it definitely feels like fall now), and thinking a lot about my far-away friends. i miss you, girls.


One thought on “unmoored

  1. This was such a beautiful post, dear. So well said. It really rang true with me right now. I’m definitely feeling the unmooredness and the diaspora of everything. It’s really good to know that our feeling of missing each other is mutual, and maybe even stretching itself across the continents to hold hands!

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